Wednesday, December 30, 2009

You don't do much but you feel deeply..

The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.
Sir Winston Churchill

I've been criticized for this more than once. I'm working on it. This blog is an effort to work on it.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Soul in Bondage

I want with Cosmic Spirit to enthuse
Each human being
That a flame he may become
And fiery will unfold his being innermost.
The other ones, they strive to take from cosmic waters
What will extinguish flames,
And pour paralysis into all inner being.
Oh Joy, when human beings flame
Is blazing, even when at rest.
Oh, bitter pain, when the human thing
Is put in bonds when it wants to stir.
-Rudolf Steiner

painting by Elihu Vedder

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

You don't have to ask for it. He knows what you want.

you don't have to ask for it. he knows what you want.

that could stand as a definition of the Holy Spirit. My daughter and I watched The Santa Clause recently. It was interesting to me that the two intellectual (as in overthink and analyze for lack of basic sense of self type intellectual) mom and step dad both stopped believing in Santa Claus when they didn't receive a specific gift that they particularly wanted. (She wanted the Dream Date game and he wanted an Oscar Meyer whistle.)

That immediately reminded me of the line from The Hound of Heaven ... 'all that in thy child's mistake thou hadst fancied as lost I have but stored for thee in Heaven. Come. Clasp my hand and rise.' The universal personal.

I love Youtube for making stuff like this available. I have nutured my Catherine Deneuve imitation over the years and find that I pretty well nailed it. Recently I went looking for a Dick Van Dyke episode wherein, I believe, Anais Nin was lampooned. A dark haired lady writer wanders about a party saying I love to love to love to love to love.... etc.

Next week I will look up the Coyote giving a presentation with overhead projection of the Roadrunner's attributes shown in the manner of a side of beef. This section tastes like tutti frutti...

Saturday, October 24, 2009

video of Malcolm Gladwell who wrote Blink talking about how the idea of diversity in marketing impacts everything else

this guy can really talk.

Dr. Chopra calling (The Superstition of Materialism)

I wonder whether a person can have Asbergers syndrome with the obsessive component settling on God and Man type questions. Asbergers was totally new to me a couple of years ago when I met a nine year old boy who, among other things, had a disabling perfectionism. Asbergers is a sliver of the Autism spectrum. A common symbol for Autism is puzzle pieces. Kids with Asbergers tend to have a lot of information in their heads and usually have a favorite topic to gather information about. I've met several more kids with Asbergers working as a Substitute teacher and it's just fascinating how this relentless and unforgiving mindset shows itself in unrelated individuals.

I'm asking the question because the drive to put together information in a way that's satisfying TO ME is very familiar. I have approximately 30 journals in which I attempted for years to keep track of my own experience and investigations into ummmm the nature of reality and my place in it. Sometimes it felt like a huge effort to reform the world and other times I was just bombarded with significance. Being bombarded with significance was a big theme.

At any rate, in my puzzle box/mind there are now many many pieces which have been weighed, bitten, tossed, dropped, exposed to extremes of heat and cold, covered with lint and found to be acceptable as information. One important one is that Christ's mission in incarnating was to interrupt our descent into matter and materialism. That is the way Rudolf Steiner expressed it but I find it's a view not limited to his work. Often we equate materialism and greed. That's the not whole picture. Personally, I believe relief from materialism has more to do with giving the time of day to the part of our minds that is able to recognize what has never been encountered before.

I give you, Deepak Chopra being hysterically avuncular and doctorly. When I watched this I felt that mentally he was clicking his pen in the pocket of his lab jacket.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The next image I clicked on is this link:

The photos of Vintage Barbies and Vintage makeup make me hear Henry Mancini music and/or Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. The text contains suggested visual image of a young boy making repeated passes through the Barbie aisle at the drugstore because to linger would be a disaster. I'm glad that guy took the time to create the collection he desired but wasn't permitted as a child to own. Good for him! Not to diminish his injury, but my next door neighbor's dog mauled my Skipper. The moment when I discovered her (she'd been missing and missed) next to the aluminum chain link fence lying in the grass and covered with bite marks was what Anthroposophists might call an incarnating moment for me. The world seemed very harsh and I felt wronged by the Timmins' dog whom I had previously considered a friend. (Only child)

Barbie is to Midge as Scooter is to Skipper!

Midge has responded!!!!!! Actually, Fran responded but I'm sure Midge would have if they had time.

So, it was Scooter. The reason I couldn't remember was that it's almost the same freakin' name. Doesn't that close similarity seem insidiously to invite comparison. Sooooo similar but not quite. Looking for an image of Scooter I found this. It wasn't really pertinent but I wondered if it might somehow be 'our Midge' so I clicked. Definitely not 'our Midge'. However, if you scroll down through the images of theatrical artists, mostly performing their own work, you may notice an interesting coincidence; Midge is immediately followed by Scooter. Well anyway, a coincidence.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


somehow this conveys Chris Rock channeled through Ann Margaret's character in Bye Bye Birdie. wry and girlish.

When I heard the band name I immediately remembered Barbie's like-not-so-bombshell cousin or hanger-on. Midge was to Barbie as ________ was to Skipper. still thinking. (maybe Midge will tell me!!!!!!!) As a little girl you might think to yourself how fabulous it would be to grow up as a Barbie but then acknowledge quietly that Midge was more realistic. Even in plastic, Midge was never going to be a cheerleader. Midge might look a little odd in the emerald green silk dress with the gold lame clutch. I can so picture this. I really really loved the gold lame clutch with the wee gold button clasp. I'm well into memory lane where I had a plastic vanity (from Toys R Us) turned into a Southern Mansion; the legs of the vanity became the columns of the mansion. Maybe Midge just needed a new hairdo.

I can't think of a description for the music but then Fran really has that covered so never mind. I like it!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Who are you writing for?

Listening to NPR moments ago I heard James Ellroy answer the question "Who do you write for?" This a question that writing instructors have been known to pose. Who is your audience? Who are you writing for? My unspoken response when I first heard that question posed ponderously was 'Anybody who's interested, right?' The question itself irked me as it seemed to encourage a sort of calculation involving the assumption that age, education and socio-economic background determine one's ability to hear. Reading is a form of hearing I think.

So, since I've been posting notes for an audience of 3-4 people, the question was on my mind. I thought I would declare that I wrote for J.D. Salinger and 'the fat lady' from his story about the kid geniuses who dress up for their radio program. That might be Raise High the Roofbeam, Carpenters. I will investigate. One brother asks the other brother (Seymour?) why they have to dress up for a radio show. They have often imagined in great detail a member of their radio audience sitting on her front porch fanning herself (wearing patent leather shoes?) and Seymour tells him he should dress nicely for her sake.

(I found it. It's from Zooey and the shiny shoes were on the younger brother. Memory is so weird. my attempt to post another link failed so you will have to investigate further yourself.)

In James Ellroy's interview with Steve Inskeep the question is raised. Who do you write for? Mr. Ellroy, who had moments before revealed that he spent the sixties drinking and looking through windows of strange women and hanging out at the library listed God in his target audience. Then he said something that could easily have come out of my mouth. The exact quotation isn't letting me find it but the idea was that he feels faith within himself knowing that he neither created nor cultivated it. That's precisely my experience and it's why I'm doing this. What do you do if your inside is bigger than your outside and not particularly connected to the present? Read a lot.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Bicycle Diaries newly released book by David Byrne

I seem to be awash in references from the late 70's / early 80's. After remarking on the Body Scenter, a store in Georgetown circa '78 which I LOVED LOVED LOVED I got a link to Urban Outfitters from my bank's website. So I think Urban Outfitters was on M street just around the corner from Wisconsin. I loved that store too but my visits had more to do with the gelatto they served. I think. Why would they serve gelatto? I don't know, but it was really super yummy and it got me off the couch in Gaithersburg and all the way to D.C.

The Urban Outfitters BLOG offers prepaid music downloads too. For which you receive an iTunes receipt. And, the music is interesting. After downloading 25 completely unknown songs I didn't have to go back and delete them from my 'music' list.

there was also some sort of reference to Alfred Jarry on that blog. By people who are currently in their 20's. That's awfully interesting. How does a zeitgeist attach to a business anyway. Mystery.

one of those banner quotes on top of my gmail recently was from Gertrude Stein. "We are always the same age on the inside." I am proving that point daily. for good or ill. I think good, since I find endless amusement in contemplating the same stuff I liked to contemplate in my 20's. Amusement is healthful.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Speaking of Faith

Check this out some Sunday while you clean or putter around the house, or take a drive with the radio on, or something near the radio...

My favorite recent story involved a fellow who had grown up in a fundamentalist family, found he had a calling, become very successful as a preacher then at some point came to feel dubious about some of the elements of fundamentalism. He didn't really think the world was all demons or saved people. He didn't really think that most of the world's population was going to hell. etc. etc. Somewhere in the NPR archives I will find his name. But not right this minute. I hope he is doing well though.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I found a text I've been remembering parts of since 8th grade

I have remembered for years the line "She had a face so face-like in it's appearance as to be positively facial.' Gertrude the Governess is a spoof on Gothic Romance and I read everything available in my early teens, Mary Stewart's Touch not the Cat (I don't think she meant to be funny with that) Child From the Sea, The Shadow of the Lynx. I knew they were awfully repetitive but I couldn't help myself so I was a prime audience for this.

I do love the internet for stuff like this. Little pleasures with no particular merit. Click on the title to find the short short story.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

thought from a bus by me

(looking out the window between Helena and Butte in the early '80's)

Upon entering my eye
form takes off its coat

Upon entering form
my eye re
veals its preference

tripe? boy this blogging thing is rough. I was just doing the dishes and thought about having remembered this and put it 'up' here and I had to rip off my rubber gloves and dash out with the intention of 'taking it down'. But... it can't really hurt anything. It's just words.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Onts and Gracehoppers

"Business or toil is merely utilitarian. It is necessary, but does not enrich or ennoble a human life."

word of the day from a link on best colleges of 2009. This touches on a theme on my list of recurring themes. The grasshopper vs. the ant. Mary vs. Martha.

topic under construction

Thursday, July 16, 2009

does this writing make my posterity look big?

You can see from this how linear creation is just an invitation to a posterior view. How can one approach a journal except from behind. I mean, I guess, I would have expected the format to leave the older posts, the first, at the top. Instead if you wish to 'follow' you must go to the bottom. OK. I pun. The term posterity has long been a source of amusement for me. It doesn't cost anything.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Thar she Blogs

Hmm. a new experience for the novice blogger. The good news is Jane replied re: the name of the store I couldn't remember. I wanted to include it as text (Anthropologie ;););););)) in hopes that the roving computer brain would take it as a hint when selecting ads for my page. The bad news is I'm not awake. I put it in as a link in my blogs-to-follow section. Then I thought ... Oh that's probably against the rules. When I removed it I removed the section. shoot.

Other good news, I noticed that Anthony Bourdain is one of the ads this morning. I think that's perfect. It's probably based on the presence of Russell Brand the notorious ex-heroin and sex addict or the mention of Craig Ferguson. Anthony Bourdain's persona suggests that he may have lovingly brushed upon some of these errors himself. But I still enjoy his show when he doesn't talk too much about inebriation and its after effects. You get the sense that the primary value of the work for him is his own pleasure and the satisfaction of his own curiosity. Any other value that may accrue is entirely someone else's job. That makes sense to me.

But even in the muck and scum of things there always always something sings.

rough quotation of Emerson

Have a good day!


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Why are there ads for tatoos on my page?

Good News! I've been approved by adsense. Ads will appear on my page now. It will be necessary, however, to spend some time with the how to section of adsense.

I wonder whether if I just list all the places or types of products I'd like to screen/windowshop the mind of Google will pick up on it and attach like ads?

Barnes and Noble, Borders, Heirloom Seeds, H & M, Gap, Amazon, Garnet Hill, New York Times, Old Navy, Museum Store (any) MoMa, .... Jane, where did you get that bedspread you hung on the wall?


Saturday, July 11, 2009

au jourd' phooey

This is going to be fun, I think.

There are about four people who will probably read if I can induce myself to write. Just what everybody loves, a shy author. Duchamp said we only really need one or two people who get it in order for the function of audience to be fulfilled. That's not how he said it precisely.

When I was following the web log of (former blogger, Lisa Halpert, no longer at that address) back around 2001 I felt what she describes in the New York Times article linked under salt seller; the stream of consciousness getting legs and branches that text has trouble accommodating. Probably Finnegans Wake manages but I wouldn't know. I think she was a computer programmer or whatever we call that science today. The whole problem of being hyper-associative was familiar to me and had become sort of a pet problem. After years of difficulty communicating, the difficulty itself became interesting. I look forward to unburdening myself of some persistent associations.